~* Next stop: grandmaville *~
Ok fine, maybe I'm exagerrating a tiny bit.
It's my birthday tomorrow... and I don't like it!
I wish 1 year was 2 years or something, time is flying by too fast!
I know I'm probably being weird about this whole age thing.
Ever since I was 17 going on 18 I've been feeling stressed about not having enough time to do everything I want to do in life.
I do think this fear is somewhat legit though, considering I'm kinda lazy at times and tend to postpone stuff.
Also I don't really stress things, I let them take their time.
I've been taking babysteps towards the future and it's been OK up until now.
I turn 23!
This sounds unbelievable to me.
Nathalie, 23 years OLD?
I really don't feel like that age..
I still feel like a teenager, or perhaps someone who just turned 20..
Haha, OK, I'll stop complaining and panicking about it now!
It's fine, next year will contain a lot of nice changes ^__^
So before I turn 24 (...really really trying to keep the comments to myself right now.. gaah..) I will have gotten closer to my life goal!
Which in general is to have lots of good and fun experiences so I guess it shouldn't be too hard to reach ^__~
But I will also be closer to more specific goals I have.
Returning to sweden right now will be good for me~
Oh yeah, that's right, I'll be returning to Sweden already!
In about 2 weeks I'm flying back home again.
I decided to finish my studies earlier than planned because of everything that has been going on.
I don't feel the need or want to be in Japan right now.
I still love this country and in the future I will come here a lot of times, but now it's time for me to be in sweden, that's just how I feel.
Oh well, I'm gonna pick out my most childish outfit for tomorrow! (actually serious about that)
Also I'll try to blog more frequently from now on ~
Ciao, bellas
~* Reason *~
Lately I've been having problems with my sleep.
Insomnia and nightmares every night, and it's been bugging the shit out of me.
I thought that as I started feeling more positive about life it would go away, but nah-ah.. still here.
Today I found the reason why.
I never thought about it before, which might be strange, but it just never occured to me before this day.
It makes sense now, but it also makes me upset, because it means that I will probaby continue to have these problems until I move to another place..
Yeah, that's it, it's this apartment that doesn't allow me to fall asleep.
It's this place that gives me nightmares so that I will wake up.
And no, it's not that I don't like my cute little apartment..
About a month ago something bad happened here...
I don't know if this is too much info, I don't know if it's not appropriate, but I will write it anyway because I'm an open person and I don't see what's bad about telling you this.
I'm gonna make a long story short though and just tell you the important part of it.
I was being nice and letting a guy (not a stranger) sleep at my place since he missed his last train home.
I was being really sad that night and would've rather been alone, but he said he didn't have anywhere to go and I felt like I couldn't just let him stay out alone all night since he had school the next morning.
When going to bed he came onto me, but I told him I wasn't interested and so he stopped.
Maybe at that point I should've felt alarmed, but I was just tired, sad and wanted to go to sleep.
I fell asleep almost instantly, maybe because of the exhaustion from crying a lot.
After a while though (I have no idea how long I had been sleeping) I started waking up again.
Something felt strange and when I opened my eyes I found that he was on top of me.
I didn't get what was happening, I was still half asleep, but soon I understood what was going on.
Not only was he on top of me, he was inside of me..
It all felt like a bad dream, like it wasnt really happening.
Surely this was a strange dream, on of those that seems real but isn't?
I never fully woke up or maybe I just went from sleeping into being in some kind of shock.
I don't even know how long it was going on and I don't know when I fell asleep again, but I did.
I just wanted to wake up quickly and confirm that it was all just in my head.
The next day when opening my eyes, the first thing I saw was condom wrapper on the floor.
So it wasn't a dream..
I felt so empty inside, just told him to leave and went to bed again and broke down..
Anyway.. that is what happened a month ago.
Today is the first time I actually think about the fact that it happened here, at my place, in my bed..
It all became clear to me when reading about definitions of rape (because of some people I've been doubting that what happened to me even counts since there was no violence involved..not that there had to be any since I wasn't really conscious..).
It said that the victims tend to avoid the place where it happened, which is totally logic and not really something I had to read to know about.
But today was the first time it hit me that I'm in that place EVERYDAY.
This is why I can't sleep.
My subconscious is telling me that this place is not safe, it's telling me not to fall asleep because something bad will happen.
Also when I finally do fall asleep it gives me nightmares to wake me up, like a warning.
This all came to me today and I started crying about it.
I realize now that if I don't get out of this apartment this will continue to haunt me, and I can't just move.
I've been trying not to think about it all, but I know it's tearing on me.
Every time I see a guy that looks like him I get nervous..
When I come home I always look around to see no one is following me..
Anyway.. this is getting long.
I just wanted to get it off my chest.
I really don't know what to do now.
I need to sleep, I'm constantly tired.
How will I make it in this place until March?
~* Update *~
So, I've been too busy and tired to blog the past few days.
This weekend has been filled with both this and that..
Don't really remember thursday, so I'll give you updates on Friday - Monday!
Friday:
Houseparty at Yuki's place~
He's a guy I met last weekend and we decided that it would be nice to throw a party.
It was really fun, but I had a little too much to drink.. hehe ^ ^;
That always happens when I go to houseparties for some reason.
After I came back home I felt like taking a little walk.
Guess I didn't feel like walking back though, because I got a ride from some random japanese guy ;O
I had Mikael on skype though, so I thought it was OK.
Not that I was really thinking all that much about it.
He works at an izakaya close to my home apparantly.
Thankfully he was just a nice guy giving a lonely girl a ride home ^ ^;
Saturday:
Woke up hungover and felt really tired, but I had to get up and get ready.
Then I went to Shinjuku for some shopping with Yui~
Had to buy some more fake blood and stuff for the Halloween party that night!
I went as some sort of vampire nurse.
I mean.. I had some kind of concept story behind it, but that was really just something I made up to make it seem more special than it was.
Frankly I just wanted to be a bloody nurse, haha.
Here's some pictures I borrowed from Yui's facebook:
This weekend has been filled with both this and that..
Don't really remember thursday, so I'll give you updates on Friday - Monday!
Friday:
Houseparty at Yuki's place~
He's a guy I met last weekend and we decided that it would be nice to throw a party.
It was really fun, but I had a little too much to drink.. hehe ^ ^;
That always happens when I go to houseparties for some reason.
After I came back home I felt like taking a little walk.
Guess I didn't feel like walking back though, because I got a ride from some random japanese guy ;O
I had Mikael on skype though, so I thought it was OK.
Not that I was really thinking all that much about it.
He works at an izakaya close to my home apparantly.
Thankfully he was just a nice guy giving a lonely girl a ride home ^ ^;
Saturday:
Woke up hungover and felt really tired, but I had to get up and get ready.
Then I went to Shinjuku for some shopping with Yui~
Had to buy some more fake blood and stuff for the Halloween party that night!
I went as some sort of vampire nurse.
I mean.. I had some kind of concept story behind it, but that was really just something I made up to make it seem more special than it was.
Frankly I just wanted to be a bloody nurse, haha.
Here's some pictures I borrowed from Yui's facebook:
Sunday:
Went to see Saitou and Joe in Ikebukuro~
Masa was supposed to be there, but he was sleeping x)
He had been working until morning so I get it.
I was dead tired too, barely slept at all.
It was great seeing them again though, so it doesn't matter.
It had been too long since last time!
Monday:
Today that is.
Hmm.. well I didn't go to school.
My scumbag brain decided to play a prank on me.
After turning off my alarm I fell back to sleep and then I had one of those dreams where you wake up and everything feels so real..
In my dream it was already 1pm.
I was quite surprised that I had slept for that long, but since I didn't sleep during the weekend I figured my body just needed it so it didn't seem too suspicious.
I still felt tired though and stayed in bed.
After a while I looked at the time again..
All of a sudden it was 9:30am!
I got up and made myself ready, but I was still so tired..
when I was ready I realized I would only have time to go to school for one hour and I didn't really feel motivated for that, so I stayed home.
To be honest I'm STILL tired.
I never really woke up today..
Oh, and a confession?
I'm getting really tired of Japan -.-
Sure I have fun and I've met new friends recently, but still.
I'm just not sure I wanna be here anymore.
~* I don't always make myself pretty to go grocery shopping at 8:30am.. *~
..but when I do it's because my clumsy ass forgets that we have the day off from school!
I have been home and sick for the past 2 days and so today was the day with a big D.
I felt confident, my head didn't hurt so much and I didn't feel deadly tired.
I got up, took a shower, made myself über prettylicious (slight exaggeration) and was ready to go.
With manly roars of determination in my head and a kickass song in my ears I began walking to school.
Luckily part of my brain still loves me and decided to be somewhat nice, so it took about a minute before I realized that they told us last week we didn't have school on this wednesday.
So I went to buy groceries and breakfast instead.
Now I'm sitting here eating an eggsandwich while watching a picture of Joannas "sandwich-cake" and pretending that is what I'm eating because it looked frikkin delicious!
I have been home and sick for the past 2 days and so today was the day with a big D.
I felt confident, my head didn't hurt so much and I didn't feel deadly tired.
I got up, took a shower, made myself über prettylicious (slight exaggeration) and was ready to go.
With manly roars of determination in my head and a kickass song in my ears I began walking to school.
Luckily part of my brain still loves me and decided to be somewhat nice, so it took about a minute before I realized that they told us last week we didn't have school on this wednesday.
So I went to buy groceries and breakfast instead.
Now I'm sitting here eating an eggsandwich while watching a picture of Joannas "sandwich-cake" and pretending that is what I'm eating because it looked frikkin delicious!
~* Crimson pain *~
I was looking through some old pictures again and I made a discovery.
Funny how some things comes to you 2 years later like this.
I don't know if it is related, but it seems like it could be.
There was a night when I started bleeding furiously out of my mouth.
I had no idea why or where it came from, but my mouth was filled with it and it took a while before it stopped.
All I had been doing before was trying to fall asleep..
Anyway, today I noticed that the day it happened wasn't just anyday at all..
It was the night of the day that I had recovered a surpressed memory of a traumatic event that has affected my life in various ways ever since it happened.
Could it be that the bloodfest that occured was due to emotional pain?
Stress, panic, sadness..
So mentally painful that it became physical?
Scary~
This picture is from that night.
I've never posted it before (even though I've wanted to) because I thought maybe it was inappropriate.
But looking at it now..
It was 2 years ago, you can't at all tell how I look like and even if you could my body has changed since that.
Also, my mother said it was no big deal, and mothers are always right. (?)
Besides, it's not supposed to be about boobs or anything, it's about pain.
To me blood has always been beautiful in a twisted way~
Funny how some things comes to you 2 years later like this.
I don't know if it is related, but it seems like it could be.
There was a night when I started bleeding furiously out of my mouth.
I had no idea why or where it came from, but my mouth was filled with it and it took a while before it stopped.
All I had been doing before was trying to fall asleep..
Anyway, today I noticed that the day it happened wasn't just anyday at all..
It was the night of the day that I had recovered a surpressed memory of a traumatic event that has affected my life in various ways ever since it happened.
Could it be that the bloodfest that occured was due to emotional pain?
Stress, panic, sadness..
So mentally painful that it became physical?
Scary~
This picture is from that night.
I've never posted it before (even though I've wanted to) because I thought maybe it was inappropriate.
But looking at it now..
It was 2 years ago, you can't at all tell how I look like and even if you could my body has changed since that.
Also, my mother said it was no big deal, and mothers are always right. (?)
Besides, it's not supposed to be about boobs or anything, it's about pain.
To me blood has always been beautiful in a twisted way~
The pictures I took that night have another meaning to me now that I've realized this possible connection.
~* This Is Halloween *~
Woo-fucking-hoo, it's that time of the year again!
I love it, the dressing up and the spooky atmosphere.
Makes me feel like I'm home ~
I just got this craving for blood ^__~
A must when it comes to drinks around this time.
Hmm.. I wonder what it tastes like to mix it in an actual drink?
Pretty much the same as draining an alcoholic maybe.
Hmm.. I should try it and see if there's any resemblence..
Nova and Luna says blood is good for you~
Haha, well, on to some music:
Marilyn Manson's version of This Is Halloween from Nightmare Before Christmas
~* Oh ass, where art thou? *~
Haha, well, it's still very easy to find (I was "blessed" with a big one..), but recently it's been getting smaller and I don't even know why.
Maybe this is my body trying to motivate me to lose weight?
Or maybe I've been sleep-working-out?
I wonder what kind of workout that would be though..
On the other hand I've been having some weird dreams lately and I'm sure I don't remember even half of them.
Maybe I've been a dog humping legs or something, and my body has made the same movement whilst dreaming about it.
Well, there are a lot of possibilities as to why I've lost about 5 cm all of a sudden!
Sure it's not only the badonka-donk that's been getting smaller, but it sure is ahead of other areas.
I really wish I knew what I was doing so that I could keep doing it..
Or actually start working out?
I guess that is what most people do, huh?
I'm such a lazy bastard..
Maybe it's time for a change when it comes to that too!
But I'm not making promises.. because.. well.. I know how it goes whenever I tell people I'm gonna start losing weight.
I end up even more of a fatso, crying in a corner, face full of chocolate and mouth full of potato chips wondering what went wrong.
So let's just see what happens ^__~
That's all I'm gonna say!
Wohoo!
~* Time machine *~
Now that I'm starting a new chapter of my life I decided to take a trip back in time and look at some of the previous chapters as well.
It can be quite interesting and fun!
It can also bring back a lot of bad things, but since they're part of the past it's all good.
When you've finished one of those life chapters and moved on to the next one it doesn't hurt you anymore, they're just reminders that helps you prevent similar things to happen again.
They're memories that can now help you instead of break you as they used to when you were still writing that part of your book~
Today's trip wasn't that bad though, it just made me realize how much I've changed and grown.
So, let's look at some pictures ^__~
Wow.. guess I wasn't always hating the sun, huh? ^ ^;
I was 16 and I probably haven't been tanned ever since?
I know this picture is not very hot but.. maybe I'll try tanning again some summer!
Wonder if my skin can handle it now though, I always get red whenever I'm in the sun..
I was 16 and I probably haven't been tanned ever since?
I know this picture is not very hot but.. maybe I'll try tanning again some summer!
Wonder if my skin can handle it now though, I always get red whenever I'm in the sun..
And I do like being pale too..
Haha this is so embarrassing.. I would never put myself on a site like that now ^ ^;
I remember lying about my age so that I could post pictures..
That's just.. desperate for someone to tell me I looked good?
And I'm pretty sure they weren't even judging my looks as much as my pose anyway..
I guess I haven't always been the most confident, so posting daring (well, luckily you can't see the whole picture..) pics of myself online was a way to get some compliments? I don't even..
R.I.P. Kurry <3
Not that it really has anything to do with me in the past, but I came across it now looking though these pics.
Not that it really has anything to do with me in the past, but I came across it now looking though these pics.
He was a great cat~
wohoo, I can play the bass too! x) The other songs where I performed I was singing though ^__~
This was a project in school, a really good one too!
This was a project in school, a really good one too!
We had several lives~
It really helped my stage-fright and now I love singing in front of people <3
Dirty, rainy view from my hiding spot in highschool, where I went when I just didn't manage to go to class or be around people..
Yeah, the last 1,5 years of highschool were really tough for me. I barely went to school at all, and when I did I often ended up in different hiding spots alone or with a friend.
I was feeling really depressed and a lot of bad things happened, but eventually I got through and over it!
Anyway, that's enough for now.
I'll probably make another journey through time soon again.
I do like to make them and see what's changed~
Also since I was feeling very down recently, looking back at times where I felt the same and knowing I got through it is inspiring to me and helps me to get over the bad things even faster ^__^
~* Comeback *~
Yes, I'm thinking about blogging again.
A place where I can write about my feelings, thoughts, activities.. anything I want~
Better than writing it on facebook statuses, right?
I have to stop myself quite often from doing just that ^ ^;
So here I am again.
I want to start off with giving myself a big welcome back, I've been greatly missed! ^__^
Second of all..
I'm not gonna write a long blogpost this time.
I did, but this super clever site decided to forward me to the login page again instead of publishing it, so I'm writing a shorter version now and making sure to save it before clicking that godforsaken button luring me in by saying "publish".
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
Fool me three times, I guess I'm just plain retarded..
What I had written was about what's been going on recently and it hasn't been fun so maybe it's better not to write about it in my comeback blogpost?
I'll just sum it up by saying I fell deep down into the abyss of depression and now I've managed to find my way up again and I'm still climbing, reaching for the top this time!
I know I'm awesome and all those who try to make me feel like I'm not can go fuck themselves in the ass with one of my monster high heels ^__^
Throughout my life there has always been people who have tried to break my spirit.
Well, that shit will eventually make me so much stronger so joke's on you!
For your own sakes though, I suggest you stop hating so much.
It makes you ugly on the inside - the only place where it's actually important to be beautiful~
A place where I can write about my feelings, thoughts, activities.. anything I want~
Better than writing it on facebook statuses, right?
I have to stop myself quite often from doing just that ^ ^;
So here I am again.
I want to start off with giving myself a big welcome back, I've been greatly missed! ^__^
Second of all..
I'm not gonna write a long blogpost this time.
I did, but this super clever site decided to forward me to the login page again instead of publishing it, so I'm writing a shorter version now and making sure to save it before clicking that godforsaken button luring me in by saying "publish".
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
Fool me three times, I guess I'm just plain retarded..
What I had written was about what's been going on recently and it hasn't been fun so maybe it's better not to write about it in my comeback blogpost?
I'll just sum it up by saying I fell deep down into the abyss of depression and now I've managed to find my way up again and I'm still climbing, reaching for the top this time!
I know I'm awesome and all those who try to make me feel like I'm not can go fuck themselves in the ass with one of my monster high heels ^__^
Throughout my life there has always been people who have tried to break my spirit.
Well, that shit will eventually make me so much stronger so joke's on you!
For your own sakes though, I suggest you stop hating so much.
It makes you ugly on the inside - the only place where it's actually important to be beautiful~
~* Finally some rest *~
Yes!
No insomnia and I felt totally rested when I woke up at 8am ^^
I have been so stressed out about everything around me that I haven't been able to sleep for a while.
So much stuff in my head that wouldn't leave me alone.
But tonight, it was pretty quiet for once ^__~
Awesome, I really needed that sleep!
Hate having constant headache -.-
Today I've been taking it quite easy.
Want to keep the stresslevel at a minimum!
Of course there's been some paperwork and stuff to fix (as usual nowadays), but I had already prepared most of it so it was really a no-brainer for me today ;P
Hmm.. what to do what to do..
I think I'm gonna excercise some :]
Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do!
Have a great day, darlings~
No insomnia and I felt totally rested when I woke up at 8am ^^
I have been so stressed out about everything around me that I haven't been able to sleep for a while.
So much stuff in my head that wouldn't leave me alone.
But tonight, it was pretty quiet for once ^__~
Awesome, I really needed that sleep!
Hate having constant headache -.-
Today I've been taking it quite easy.
Want to keep the stresslevel at a minimum!
Of course there's been some paperwork and stuff to fix (as usual nowadays), but I had already prepared most of it so it was really a no-brainer for me today ;P
Hmm.. what to do what to do..
I think I'm gonna excercise some :]
Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do!
Have a great day, darlings~
~* It's not too late *~
~ It's not too late to change my point of view
But it hurts sometimes to face the truth ~
I guess there are some things about ourselves or the people around us that we just don't want to face.
In my case it's about me.
I have already faced several hurtful truths about myself this year, even if it hasn't even been 2 months of it yet.
Good thing about facing truths is that only then can you do something about it.
Change and make it better.
Bad thing is the insomnia it causes..
Maybe I'm realizing all this stuff about myself because I'm about to turn the page and write a whole nother chapter in the book about my life.
Japan is getting closer and it will be a huge change for me.
It's the beginning of a new era ^^
It's most probably for that reason that I'm making an effort to change things for the better and give/get second chances.
I don't want to leave Sweden with unfinished business!
With others or myself.
I have changed my ways since last year and I feel good about it.
Maybe it's too soon to pour the champagne in celebration, but still.
Even a small change is a change~
I'm proud of me :]
I think that's an important part of success in any form.
Telling yourself how awesome you are and how proud you are of yourself ^__~
Don't get me wrong, I love myself, I love the way I am <3
But everyone has flaws and if some of those flaws are something you can do something about then you should!
If you want to of course.
I do.. I feel that changing these flaws WILL make me an even better person that I already am, so why wouldn't I?
I'm striving to become the best that I can be :]
I love you all <3
I hope that you are all happy with who you are and that you tell yourselves everyday how incredibly awesome you are!
Can you do that for mama Nat? ;3
Have a great Sunday, cuties~
~* Playlist *~
So my blog wouldn't allow me to post youtube videos for some reason (never had a problem before) so I'm sharing a spotify playlist instead ^__^
A mix of different types of music.
Don't expect all new songs, it's just songs that I listen to frequently at the moment.
In Nathalie's life moments are usually quite short xP
http://open.spotify.com/user/princess_bunny/playlist/1qUa0XK8XZIZ4zAq9KNYVi Playlist
So open the link and listen :]
A mix of different types of music.
Don't expect all new songs, it's just songs that I listen to frequently at the moment.
In Nathalie's life moments are usually quite short xP
http://open.spotify.com/user/princess_bunny/playlist/1qUa0XK8XZIZ4zAq9KNYVi Playlist
So open the link and listen :]
~* Inspirational chocolate *~
It has to be since I suddenly felt like blogging.
Or maybe it was some kind of built in blog-watch inside me telling me it's been exactly one month since my last blogpost?
Either way I'm here and I'm writing and you're happy about it ^__~ haha
So, today is Valentines day.
I don't care much about it and I'm single this year so no lovey-dovey stuff for me.
I've got the chocolate though ;D yum-yum
In the shape of hearts - naw, how suitable.
The best thing about Valentines day is the name of it.
I like Valentine, sounds like a sweet, loving and charming person.
It also makes me think about Vincent Valentine from the Final Fantasy series and that makes me a little wet in my underwear (that is if I was wearing any) x]
Sorry, too much info?
Not my fault if you forgot about my revealing personality just because I suck at blogging sometimes ;O haha
What else should I write about..?..
I'm going to share some music with you guys, but I'll make another blogpost about that right after this one.
Maybe I should write about Japan.
It's so much stuff that needs to be fixed before I go and now it's only 1,5 months left!
I'm feeling good about it though, like everything will be alright.
Even if I'm stressed out an awful lot I'm calm at the same time.
I know that once everything's in order and I arrive in Japan I will feel good beyond my describing skills :P
Hmm, what else..
I'm not gonna bother with an update because frankly I'm forgetful and need to look at text messages and facebook to even remember what I've been up to ^^;
I am going to be more active here though and soon my new blog - the one that I will use in Japan - will be revealed! *yippie kay yay fathermucker*
~Happy Valentines Day, Bitches~
Or maybe it was some kind of built in blog-watch inside me telling me it's been exactly one month since my last blogpost?
Either way I'm here and I'm writing and you're happy about it ^__~ haha
So, today is Valentines day.
I don't care much about it and I'm single this year so no lovey-dovey stuff for me.
I've got the chocolate though ;D yum-yum
In the shape of hearts - naw, how suitable.
The best thing about Valentines day is the name of it.
I like Valentine, sounds like a sweet, loving and charming person.
It also makes me think about Vincent Valentine from the Final Fantasy series and that makes me a little wet in my underwear (that is if I was wearing any) x]
Sorry, too much info?
Not my fault if you forgot about my revealing personality just because I suck at blogging sometimes ;O haha
What else should I write about..?..
I'm going to share some music with you guys, but I'll make another blogpost about that right after this one.
Maybe I should write about Japan.
It's so much stuff that needs to be fixed before I go and now it's only 1,5 months left!
I'm feeling good about it though, like everything will be alright.
Even if I'm stressed out an awful lot I'm calm at the same time.
I know that once everything's in order and I arrive in Japan I will feel good beyond my describing skills :P
Hmm, what else..
I'm not gonna bother with an update because frankly I'm forgetful and need to look at text messages and facebook to even remember what I've been up to ^^;
I am going to be more active here though and soon my new blog - the one that I will use in Japan - will be revealed! *yippie kay yay fathermucker*
~Happy Valentines Day, Bitches~
~* Sara and Nathalie: mission possible *~
Yes, I told you guys I'd write another blogpost about our idea on losing some weight ^__^
We have both always had a hard time keeping the good habits (sad but true), so we needed something special.. something extra..
To make it a challenge we wouldn't give up on.
To make it a "mission possible"!
My friends - that is EXACTLY what we have done now ^__~
We've made it into a fun challenge that none of us wants to fail.
'Cause if we do.. hehe.. well I'll just tell you the whole idea and you'll get it ;)
It all started a week ago when we were talking about how important it is to have goals in life.
Doesn't matter what kind of goal it is, but they really give life meaning one way or another.
Then we started talking about weight, how both she and I have gained some during the last period of time.
I have gained weight for a long time though.. since halfway through 2009.
This fact pisses me off, but no time for those thoughts now, I should be thinking happy thoughts ^^;
Anyhow - talking about those things eventually lead to the two subjects mixing and blending, turning into talking about the goal to lose weight.
We both thought we needed a change and some real good motivation and so we came up with an idea, which lead to another, which lead to another, which lead to a complete challenge we both are excited about!
It goes like this:
On the 7th of January we weighed ourselves.
After that we made up our individual goal on how much we wanted weigh after the challenge and calculated how much we'd have to lose to get there.
On the 25th of March our goals have to be reached.
The catch, or in our case catches?
Well.. they are the ones that will motivate us and keep us going ;)
Before March 25 we can NOT use a scale.
So we wont be able to control our weight.
This will make it more interesting and hopefully make us think twice before we "sweet-cheat".
The other catch about this challenge of ours..
If we don't make our goal until march 25 there is a punishment waiting.
We each have our individual punishment which is something we really don't want to do.
Something that will be embarassing for the person doing it and fun for the person who can just sit back and watch/listen.
You guys know me, I'm not easily embarrassed, but my punishment..
Man I REALLY don't wanna do it xD
I would freak out if I had to do it :P
I can't tell you about it though, it has to be a secret for certain reasons.
How we want to proceed with our weightloss is up to ourselves, we haven't made up a plan about that together.
Whatever works the best for each individual ^^
So, this is our idea of making this shit fun and scary at the same time.
Exciting might be the right word of choice ^__~
We're so motivated to make it.
Thoughout this time we will pep-talk each other and ourselves and if we make it (which we of course will!) there is a treat waiting :]
We haven't figured out just yet what that will be, but it has to be something we want very much!
I can't wait until the day we meet and bring forth the scale! ;)
~* Large screen *~
Ahh... not that I havfe bad eyesight or anything.. but it's quite nice with an oversized screen sometimes x]
I rarely do this, connecting the computer to the tv, but yesterday I wanted to watch movies in a larger scale :P
So here I am ^^
To be honest though.. I think I prefer the small one...
At least when doing stuff like this - writing a blogpost.
Sure I like 'em big ^__~
So I shouldn't complain x]
Hmm... what should I write here...
I need to be more active on the blog, ne? ^^;
Later today I'm going to Tissa for her Mary Kay party :]
Hope I find something I want to a price that I like hehe
Anyway it will be fun seeing Tissa again.
It was like a 100 years since last time..
Oh! I should also tell you guys about mine and Sara's awesome idea on how to lose weight ^^
But.. I'll make another blogpost about that one ;)
See ya, cutiepies ~
I rarely do this, connecting the computer to the tv, but yesterday I wanted to watch movies in a larger scale :P
So here I am ^^
To be honest though.. I think I prefer the small one...
At least when doing stuff like this - writing a blogpost.
Sure I like 'em big ^__~
So I shouldn't complain x]
Hmm... what should I write here...
I need to be more active on the blog, ne? ^^;
Later today I'm going to Tissa for her Mary Kay party :]
Hope I find something I want to a price that I like hehe
Anyway it will be fun seeing Tissa again.
It was like a 100 years since last time..
Oh! I should also tell you guys about mine and Sara's awesome idea on how to lose weight ^^
But.. I'll make another blogpost about that one ;)
See ya, cutiepies ~
